Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Here we go again.
Do I deserve to be this happy? What is it really that makes me feel this way, I feel Goooooooooood:D
I am about to finish me Physics and Math Semester and I actually feel as if I know what I am studying. Final exams on Thursday and Friday. It´s a bit evil to put the exams to close but hey, I managed the IB;) I feel as if nothing can stop me now days. I am studying like a freak and while maneging to spend time with my friends. It might have to do with the fact that I am, again, (ab)using the miracle pills, Caffeine:D It really helps me, the last two weeks has been crazy though.. waking up with caffeine pills and falling asleep with Valerina, haha well it´s only for a while. I am working out to, I feel like a super woman, 3 days a week I go to the gym before classes and on top of that I run twice during the weekend. I feel so good about myself. haha for once. It is a great feeling though.. I fucking dance to math lectures, I smile when the horrible professor explains how to apply advanced statistics. I just smile. My friends tell me it is all about the pills, but I know that there´s something else. I know exactly what it is. Too early to write what yet, but it feels good.
I guess that was all for now. Just so fucking amazing to be alive.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Not a perfect morning..

I woke up after a horrible nights sleep. My cat had been meowing all night wanting food, but when I gave her food something else was wrong, I let her out and ten minutes later she wanted to get in. She really knows me that cat. 20 years old she is just a few months older then me. She knows me. We have had our fights over the days but now I thought that we were even. I pulled her tail, she pied on my desk, luckily before I had a computer there…) But last night she got me…
I finally found peace at around 5 o’clock and managed to get two hours of mediocre sleep before my parents got up. They didn’t only get up, eat and go to work, no they had to put up a mirror in the bathroom. WE have glazed tiles in the bathroom and to put up that mirror one has to drill in that wall. I don’t think I have to describe what that did do my morning. Finally, after half an hour of drilling they got out of the house and of to work. I started to breath again and the calm music that I put on actually reached my ears. I was relaxed and calm, just about to continue to sleep. I hear someone knock at the door. Thoughts are rushing trough my mind. WTF is knocking on my door 08.15. After some knocking I realize that I have to get up. I mean if someone is that eager to get in to my house at that hour it has to be important. I start the process of getting dressed, or at least cover myself. Yes I sleep naked. When I finally put on my Hugh Heffner dressing gown and my not as sexy Mumin slippers I start walking towards the door. When I get there, no one is waiting on the other side of the door. Frozen and disappointed I sit down in front of the fireplace looking at the flames devouring the wood. I stare in to the flames a couple of minutes before it knocks at the door again. I go there to open and it’s the carpenter who's working at my grandma’s apartment. He needs some help lifting her new shower cabin. Still in my bathrobe and Mumin slippers I follow him out to the garage. An old flirty carpenter was not what I wanted to meet at that point. He was all happy having been awake for some hours already. I gave him the tired I-don’t-care-face but he kept on asking me questions and being all arty. My cell phone came in the way when I accidently put on the bubbles in the Jacuzzi and water spurted out of the pipes. I guess I have to spend some more of my invisible money on a new cell phone. It wasn’t that good anyway. After half an hour in the bath I finally felt as if the day didn’t have to be as bad as it started. I’m going to the gym now. That will hopefully make me feel better. Hopefully. One of by bestest friends get back from 6 months in Ireland today. I hope I can meet up with her later. If I can find her number. Fucking mobile phone!
Have to call that lady too. About the job that I probably got. Old people, I’ll work with Old people—my grandma’ too. She’s like a little baby now, unable to do things by herself. It’s sad because she’s clear in her head and realizes that her time has come. Talking about babies. I’ll become an Aunt in September. Am I that Old? Babies…
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Thoughts about religion

I have been thinking a lot about religion lately. Writing while traveling by bus and before I go to bed has resulted in what’s written here. Enjoy and comment.
Ferdousi (940-1040)
There is only one God- That’s one thing the three religions agree upon. It’s the same God Christians, Muslims ad Jews believe in and turn to in their prayers. All consider him to be the creator, who always has existed. God created all but no one created God. God elicited the world, life and man.
No one knows where God came from. God is greater then human sense and therefore one can’t answer those kinds of questions. Muslims says Allah-u-Akbar. It means God is greater and means just that. Some important qualities God possesses are that he’s good, helpful, loving and forgiving. This can all be concluded with the adjectives merciful and compassionate. Compassion is Gods foremost quality.
God can also be called wise and almighty. He did create the world and inserted human as his co-worker on earth. God’s wisdom can be seen in creation. It has been done so that we all can live in symbiosis and work depending on each other. That’s a sign of a creator who gave us life. Life is not perfect but if we use the recourses the right way the earth can be useful for us all.
What is Gods name, or what should we call him? It’s not an easy question. Christians says God if they speak English and something else in other languages. Arabic speaking Christians says Allah, meaning The God. Many Muslims says Allah even in English because it’s meaning of The God and not just any God. Jews don’t call him God like Muslims and Christians does to show that he’s over all humanity.
Man and Evil
Evil on earth came because of man. Here one can find great differences between the three religions. The Bible tells us about Paradise where they could eat all but from the tree of knowledge (It probably has a proper name but I read about this in Swedish...) Man broke the trust. A snake enticed woman to eat its fruit and then offer it to her man. The punishment was that they had to leave Paradise and were bound to work hard, suffer and then die. The bible also tells us about Cain who got envious and killed his brother Abel. One can find similar stories in the Quran about human insubordination, God forgives them but still they have to leave life in Paradise. Jews interpret this as human can be tempted to do evil even if they’re originally good. Christians however argue that human is evil by nature. They can call insubordination in Paradise for a case of sin, which means that human after that is sinful forever after, also called the original sin. Muslims consider human not to be evil because of the fact that man and woman realized right after that they had done wrong and apologized directly and therefore they’re not evil. Sinning and original sin is not accepted by Muslims or Jews.
Christians has a darker view on human then the other two mentioned religions. This has great significance on their view on many questions. The most obvious differences between the religions are found in what I now will discuss;
The Jews regard that God entered an agreement with the people of Israel to make his will known on earth. Israel has been called Gods Pilot Project. God gave Moshe the law in Sinai Mountain and wanted Israel to be his mouthpiece on earth. They should proclaim to all that there is only one God who gave us life. The Jews has always waited for God to send a helper to create peace and justice.
Christians regard that the evil has been defeated trough Jesus, who according to Christianity was the Messiah whom the Jews were waiting for. The Christians call Jesus for Christos which means Messiahs. They say that God is three, The father, The son and the wholly spirit. The son has become human; Jesus Christos. He dies because of the human sin but defeated death by his reincarnation. Its trough him man can be freed from evil powers.
Muslims regards that God wanted to save man from evil trough prophets, who will show us the way to a life based on the will of God. Prophets has regarding Islam existed in all times. Jesus is seen as a great prophet. The last Prophet is Mohammed. The revelations he heard from Angel Gabriel are all collected in the Quran. The life of Mohammed can also give us guidance but he’s not a savior but a man who can help us to a better life by his revelations and example.
Christian’s reed the new testament to understand the old one. What’s written in the New Testament could have been re-written to modernize the view of women expressed in the Old Testament. But also in the New Testament one can find pieces directly offending women. Apostle Paulus consider it to be shameful for a woman to be shown without covering her head. Men don’t need to cover their heads because they’re”represents Gods luster. But woman is a depictured man.” 1 Kor 11:5-7.
I think I have to say stop for tonight. I hope you enjoyed. I’ll end this with a quote I heard the other day.
”Imagine, we borrowed the word Alcohol from the Muslims, but they didn’t want it back”

थिस इस अ मेसेज फ़ॉर अयेशा ओनली!
ई हवे नो आईडिया इफ यू कैन उन्देर्स्तंद थिस बुत ई होप सो। ई मिस यू सो मुच ऎंड ई कांत स्टोप थिंकिंग ऑफ़ अल थे ग्रेट तिमेस वी हवे हद तोगेठेर, स्वीतेस्त अयेशा। सेंड मे अ सिग्न ऑफ़ यौर एक्षिस्तेन्के। सेंड मे अ नुम्बेर ऎंड ई टिम ऎंड ई'ल कॉल यू। नोव व्हें लुईस इस होम कैन'त यू गो तो हिस हौसे ऎंड Iäll कॉल यू तेरे॥
ई लोवे यू सो मुच मय डार्लिंग।
For you only Ayesha! You'll understand me!
I miss you so much!
ONEHUNDREDTHOUSEN years per DAY!

A slight dizziness appears.
I’m having a hard time concentrating.
I think that I’m thinking of my own funeral.
I reed the bible, and it tells me nothing. I don’t understand how so many can like it. It barely has a literary strength and according to Jesus it’s better to become a socialist, it’s easier. I will probably join a super creepy sect, another thing to worry about. I have enough to worry about. Food, most of all food. Money sometimes. My weight, maybe I should start worrying about my weight. STD’s. Who knows I might be the carrier of a pudenda parasite, some mutated pre-historical animal who build mines in my heard and that I can blame when everything goes wrong.
What’s next ehh?
Hazlo de Nuevo

Do It again my love
Let go of the steering wheel
And let the car steer over
To the other side
I won’t stop you
A couch to sleep in
If I’ll crash in to a tree on the way
I don't care
Are all just a strautum on the Atlantic Ocean
Over all the marks and impressions
That you’ve made me wear
Climb out on the windowsill
The view of the empanada-sellers
Is fantastic
Just hold on to the roof
And I won’t shout your name
Another body
Where I can sleep
Without dreaming of that you
Climb out, Cariño do it again
Of sun and exhaust fumes
We can throw a ball in the park
We can drink banana milk
We can do it together
We can sit down
We can let the night come in the car
And you can let go of the steering wheel
I won’t stop you
Stroke your back until you sleep
And you shall sleep
And you shall stop being awake all the time
The sounds of the room shall stop attack you from all four corners of the room
I’m tired and I will find another voice
That says other things
I might crash in to a pole
But I don’t care
Like makeup to rinse
To sober up from another intoxication
There’s a sea called the Atlantic
It’s just never big enough
I stare but see nothing
I walk in to a tree
But the tree leaves no marks
Hazlo de nuevo
I won’t call you name
Soltad el volante
Do it again Cariño
No voy a impedir que lo hagas